I'm half-dating a minister.

I have a two hour presentation tomorrow on an area of the law I'm well-versed in. Not to be too prideful, but I probably know more about this area of the law than 99% of the attorneys in this country (perhaps 99.5%, but I thought I'd err on the side of modesty). So why am I having the hardest time in the world concentrating long enough to put together a freaking slide show to go with the presentation? I don't know. But, it might have to do with the guy I'm sort of half-dating, the Pope.

He's not Catholic, but he is a "man of the cloth."

Yes, I'm half-dating a man of the cloth.

I know. LVL has told me how dangerous this is. She's also stated I'm not allowed to make out with him. That's actually not true, though. Doctrinally, he can make out; he just can't have premarital sex. Kind of like me, only he has consequences if he breaks the rules... like losing his job.

Anyhow, we're not at the making out stage yet. And I understand her whole "you can't defile a minister" thing, but I'm not intending to defile the Pope. I'm planning to date him.

Maybe.

And that's why we're only half-dating now. We're not ready to say we're dating. We're not that far along. And it does feel like I need to be more serious if I'm going to date a man of the cloth. I mean, it's one thing when I date religious guys. This guy isn't just religious - he gets up every Sunday and talks on behalf of God. That's kind of a whole new level.

But, I like him so I'm not ready to give up on this just because his job's a little intimidating. I mean, how many times have I whined and complained when guys tell me dating a lawyer's intimidating? LVL had this conversation with Al the other night at my birthday party. He pretty much said no guy would ever pursue a relationship with LVL or me because we're attorneys. He even acted it out, which is exactly what you want to see at your 30th birthday party.

So, I'm not going to dismiss the Pope just because his job is overwhelming and just because I can't imagine being a pastor's wife or raising PKs. But, I'm not ready to really be dating him either.

I've grown up a lot in the past few years. I know it doesn't seem like that sometimes - it definitely doesn't feel like that sometimes. But, I have. I'm ready for a real relationship, but I'm smart enough now not to rush it. I care enough about my own heart to protect it for a while, to give myself time to figure out if it can be fully open and honest to any individual guy who presents himself in my life.

It's progress. Not as much progress as I would like, but progress none the less.

But, it's also the reason I can't finish my freaking presentation. Because I'm distracted by thoughts of the Pope. I want to reread the e-mails he's sent and craft my own witty response but I keep stopping myself because I know it's stupid and destructive. That doesn't mean that I'm able to concentrate on anything else, though ....

Okay, enough obsessing. I'm confident that I can just work though this. I'm just not excited enough about this presentation yet. If I practice what I have so far, maybe I'll get farther.... Maybe.